Kill ’em with kindness

Here in the UK, 18 – 24 May is Mental Health Awareness week. I have shared my own highs and lows with mental health here on the blog with last year’s theme of body image and through other periods in my life when I have struggled.  Even though I am the ‘Happiness Personal Trainer,’ I still have times when I feel lost, down, or completely unmotivated.  It is something I have experienced my entire life, not just during corona times.  During the current pandemic, I have often felt very helpless to change the world around me, with the lows a bit more extreme and my energy totally zapped.  To help draw me out of the dark shadows, I have made an effort to help others.  It seemed like something I could easily do, sometimes for very little money and even from afar.  As I mentioned in a previous post, I check in with some elderly neighbours on a weekly basis, send brownies to my friends who work for the NHS, and sent snail mail to our friends and family as a pick me up.  I just like to help  (so much so that it sometimes gets me in trouble).  You could even call it showing kindness.

As part of my Science of Well-being course from Coursera (I am always enrolled in something), I had to complete a character strengths test.  The idea behind character strengths is that they are the positive aspects of your personality and influence your day-to-day behaviour. If you want to find a job you love, you should aim to have the top four or five of your character strengths matched in that role.  I was not surprised to see these as my top five (out of the 24 total strengths):

I think because kindness is my #1 and therefore second nature to me, it was really hard for me to write this blog post.  All I want to say is, be kind.  It makes you feel good and others too.  It has been shown to improve mental health, give you a warm fuzzy feeling inside and make you smile (I am making my way through Sonja Lyubomirsky’s The How of Happiness.  Check it out!).  It can create ripples of good deeds, laughter, and smiles that reach so many more people that you originally intended.  I took to Facebook and asked for others to help me speak about kindness.  Here is what they said:

Katie from Orbis Expeditions – “One of the best acts of kindness is when someone gives another person the benefit of the doubt. They don’t assume, they give them a chance and look at what might be behind the reaction. That to be is the ultimate kindness.”

Coach Michael – “Kindness is like love.  Everybody knows it and shows it but it can be described and acted out in so many different ways.”

Stephen from How Many Miles – “I advise my boys that we never know what people are experiencing or why they act the way that they do. That being kind isn’t just about being nice to people you like or care about, but also showing empathy and respect to those you don’t.  I do also say that being kind brings its own rewards. It feels good.”

Showing kindness doesn’t have to cost you much.  It can be as simple as giving a compliment; leaving a love note for someone to find; calling a family member to check in; asking the new person at work to join you for lunch; attending a friend’s choir concert; baking an extra loaf of banana bread for your neighbour; cheering on strangers at the parkrun finish line; taking the day off work to show a visitor around your city; taking one million photos without complaining for the one good Instagram shot; giving away your products or services to people in need; introducing friends who might be able to collaborate; or buying your team coffee or cake from the canteen after a busy morning.  You get the idea.  Personally, I find the creativity part of the fun (see strengths above)!  And the return for not only yourself but also the person you are kind to makes it worth it.

Use #kindnessmatters this week to share your stories of kindness you have observed, given or received and how it has helped your mental health.  You can also tell your story in a comment below..

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